Ugh. PLEASE KEEP THIS ON TUMBLR MY FOLLOWERS UNLESS YOU CAN HELP ME. Look my followers, you all know I haven’t been blogging these love quotes and depressing stuff in a while. You know how depressed I was. Or even back when I first started tumblr, how happy I was. Well, I’d like to just vent out here on tumblr of what I’m currently going through.

Well, let me first start off with these long depressing months, maybe 7 months since that first love heartbreak. My intentions were never to move on because I will always love my first love. My intention was to wait for her, because she came back many times before. Well, I waited patiently and just went with the flow my life was going through. I was really patient for those long depressing months. And this one girl, a new girl, suddenly appeared in my life. I really would not like to get into the specific details but here it goes. Hmm, ok. Where to start?

Well, at first, even though we met once for a short time in high school, I always thought she was pretty cute as a first impression. She added me on facebook and we would have these little chats on facebook. Well, this year, I finally got to meet her. And after the first day hanging out with her at the Philippine Parade, I’m glad we got to know each other a lot more. She’s such a sweetheart, very nice, and friendly! She’s fun to be with, to have good laughs with, and all that. And the thing that got me was she would always thank me for the little things I did for her on that first hang out day, whether it was treating her to dinner or even giving her a helping hand. Really, I had a great experience finally getting to know her that first hangout day.

The second time we hung out was at my house. She met my family and she liked them. Haha! And you know, even before this, she would somewhat open up to me, even the little things, her personal stuff. And she insisted we take some pics. So after uploading them on facebook, people would tease us on facebook like “Ohh how’s the date?” or “Ohh kilig kilig” or even “Naks naman.” and we just went along with those comments on facebook. On facebook, it said that she was in a relationship but it was a decoy so people would stop hitting her up. And we hung out during my boy’s BBQ a bit. She also came over my house today. Taught her guitar again. But today, I saw on her facebook in a relationship with her recent ex. Was this a decoy or the real deal? Let me sum this up.

She told me that her ex hurt her and he didn’t put enough effort into it so they broke up. This guy lives across the nation too but I don’t wanna talk about that. And I don’t understand if this real or a decoy again. Why would she go “hang out” on these “little dates” with me if she really was back together with the ex? She even told me that he was like a “playa playa” type of guy before and wasn’t serious about relationships. Just in general, why would anyone get back with someone who hurt them? This new girl really cheered me up and one of the few people who really did. And what I’m trying to say is, after all these months waiting patiently for the right thing to come along, for that “someone” to come along, it goes to waste? Well, I don’t wanna say waste but I’ve tried so hard to bring myself together after that heartbreak and I’ve found myself more stable than before and then this. I would always hint and ask her about her relationship. Look, no matter what happens, before Summer 2012 ends, I will see what the real situation is going on with her, and from there, I will tell her how I really feel, no matter what the odds are. It makes me wonder, does anyone deserve me? A nice, friendly guy who is always willing to fight for a relationship and a real guy who really expresses my emotions? I’m tired of getting hurt and I waited too long for this to happen so soon. But I will again be patient on what the real deal is because I’m really slowly starting to like her after all these months of people telling me to move on, telling me that I deserve better. I really like her and I don’t want that to slip away after all these depressing months waiting for a really nice girl to come along. I’m not giving up hope. I hope she realizes that she has to be patient with me after being hurt, I’m still in that recovery process. Please, I’m so confused but I’m not giving up just yet. Let’s see where I go from here because I really am slowly starting to like her. Wow, that was pretty long but look. What guy do you know expresses emotion like this? That is all. Please, keep me in your prayers. God Bless you all. Not losing hope…

And she now thanks me AGAIN past midnight! A sign? I don’t know but I am truly grateful there is someone that appreciates the things I do for them. And I wish someone would please talk to her for me…for a little hints…

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